Noted Judge.................He put up our dog
Respected Judge.............He put up our dog twice
Esteemed Judge..............He puts up anything that crawls
Shown sparingly............ Only when we had it in the bag
Show Prospect...............He has 4 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 tail
Finished in 5 shows.........And 89 where he failed to win a ribbon
He has good points..........His head is shaped like a carrot
Won in heavy competition....The others were revoltingly overweight
Mutiple group winner....... at 2 puppy matches
Specialist Judge............Puts up anything that looks like his own breeding.
Well balanced...............Straight as a stick, front and rear
Quiet Gentle natured........after 4 valiums
Excels in type and style....However, moves like a spider on speed
Personality Plus........... Wakes up if you put liver up his nose.
Large boned................ Looks like a Clydesdale
Good Bite.................. Missed the judge, got the steward.
Lovely head.................2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 mouth, 1 nose
Excels in movement..........If he gets loose, put on your running shoes
Gorgeous coat...............if the hairspray lasts until the class finishes
Handled brilliantly by......Nobody else can get near him
Won in stiff competition....beat 4 puppies and a 9 year old novice dog
At stud to approved bitches.Those bitches whose owners check is "approved" by our bank
Champion Linebred ......... Ch. Whoozitz appears twice in 6th generation
Good obedience prospect.....Smart enough to come in from the rain but he's UG-LEEEE 
Terrific brood bitch........Her conformation is the pits, but she throws big litters
Great stud dog..............Mounts anything that can fog a mirror
Loves children............. for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Wins another Best in Show...His second, under the same judge, our uncle.

(Author unknown)